Pizza with my ex

So I had pizza with my ex yesterday. We call him M.

It was pleasant. This was not surprising. Had it been unpleasant, that would also not have surprised me.

He likes to say, “Kel, you should be a comedian, your insecurities are the funniest I've ever heard! And the stuff that comes out your mouth! How does your mind even think like that?”

And then we laugh. And I tell him how he’s the meanest person I've ever met and we laugh more and he says, “Naw, you’re just the weakest person I've ever met.”

And we laugh again.

Because after 5 years, there really isn't much else to do.

And I like that we laugh. I like that we have pizza. And I like that some of days we have to share together are pleasant. I feel less upset with myself. I feel like if we can all still have good days together, well then I didn’t mess up quite as badly as I thought.

I've had a week of what he likes to call “Kelan hates herself too much” again. And I've worried about everything under the sun. And while things are actually kinda better than they were a month ago, in almost every regard, it took 5 hours with him and laughing at my silliness before I could take a real breath without the small voice inside my head screaming in panic.

There is an ever-growing list of things I'm upset with him about... But days like this make me realise I’d regret not knowing him, even if we can’t love each other. We taught each other something important. We are still figuring out what that is, but then again, we are very young.

(This picture was taken at a time when life was simple

and I was still just a kid in more ways than I knew)

Loss of Radio Transmisson

My prolonged silence started when my dad decided to change the internet connection and Red (my lovely pc) decided it hated the new internet connection... I can relate to that. There are some people I just don’t gel with instantly. I decided Red needed time...

Enough time, he needed some gentle persuading. Then I invited over every male computer pro right down to guy-who-knows-where-the-on-button-is to try their charms/lack-there-of with Red.

Red didn’t even make eye contact, ignored their efforts outright.

Tough love was needed. So I ignored Red for a long time and started editing on a print out. (That is another story)

Then we moved!

And Red loves the new Internet. Instant sparks and blushing cheeks, but none was happier than me. Yay! So I’m back.

And we live in a flat. I have never lived in a flat before. Top story too! Mind you, that’s only the third level, but hey. I thought living in a place that only had stairs would make me lose weight. As it turns out, I like my PJ’s... a lot. I don’t get dressed unless I have to, because wearing a bra sucks, it just sucks ok. So... Lovely stairs going to waste.

I need a job. Wow I need a job. I need a reason to get dressed in the mornings and go down stairs. Some human interaction may also help, but right now I’m focussed on dressed and stairs.

The flat is nice.... I think I want it to myself. As an almost 24 year old it’s really time. At 21 I was grateful to be back home. 22 I started to miss the little freedom I had while living away from home for 8 months. 23 turned serious. And now I need my own space. Ever just think “Man I love my family, but I just want to do everything my own way”? Yeah. I’m in the I want everything my way! Stage... And drifting away from the I’m so glad to be back home stage.

Buuuut that won’t happen without a job and car and adult stuff I need to live on my own.

However, for once I live closer to my best friends! Like 5 minutes away!!

That’s never happened to me. As long as I can remember, most of my friends have been between 30 minutes and an hour away. Without my own transport, I only saw them when they came out to my side. Now I’ve seen them like a ton of times in 3 weeks! 3 weeks! It’s usually 3 months minimum wait! Woooo!

I did have to leave my best guy friend behind, but he is a very busy man, so we didn’t see each other all that much anyway. Miss you buddy, if you are reading this J

I like that about my friends. The time apart does nothing to our friendship, when we meet up again things just flow like there was never a break.

There are Avocados outside the window. Just out of reach!! I need a grab stick! (like the ones to grab snakes? yeah those things) I thought I'd ask Brad!! Turns out he doesn't have one *unimpressed face*... And that story I'll get to in another blog

No Avos for us. The fall is scary

Then we have a pink oven. That apparently makes me look like someone outta the 1950s, fake smile and all

My African wooden animal collection found a good place. Also have a fire place!! Not that I'm ok making my own fire or anything, but it's there

My cupboards of awesomeness that still need unpacking onto... (However you wanna say that)

Then check out the princess bed Bradley (not Brad, note the difference please) and his dad made. And they made it simple so I can even take it apart and put it together again! I love people who factor in Kelan's inability to work with complicated inanimate objects

Then end! 

Yay me!

Kelan :)

Why write a great blurb and how to

This is a simple example from my book Crimson Skies:

The sky is stained crimson with the blood of a thousand dying sacrifices made This Side of the canyon. Each month, on the Day of Killing, the sky pulsates. Wind throws painful screams to the far corners of the world. It rides across the land so everyone knows - and celebrates - rain will follow. That is why the four of them must leave This Side. Leave, or die. Two young woman and two young men escape into the canyon, chased by their city's army. The canyon is riddled with demons and monsters, the journey through is long and dangerous. And one of the girls has a secret that puts them all in real danger.... If they even make it to the Other Side without dying, is it really better there?

The opening line starts off with a bang - the blood of the dead paints the sky red 

This serves two purposes. One, it tells us this place has horror and mystery and perhaps even secrets, which makes it exciting. Two, this tells us it's a descriptive read.

The next line sets up the stage - people must kill, or it just does not rain, ever

But I did not say that exactly, but you understood that from the text. This shows that as a writer I'm not going to spoon-feed my readers. The reader feels acknowledged in their ability to follow a story and interrupt it on their own.

The third part sets the story the reader will follow - four people must run away or die

This tells us who, what and why.

Next I set out a list of problems they face - armies, demons, secrets

This tells the reader there is more than meets the eye here

Lastly I end with a question (though this isn't always needed) - is it better?

That should give the feeling of a resounding "no" so the reader feels the need to know for sure

There is no hard and fast rule. Give away secrets, keep the mystery, play on characters, reveal a different plot. There are tons of ways to write one, the best way is to write a few and ask people to read and pick out the best ones. Ask them what they think and why. In fact, why not send yours through and I'll take a look

Jodi Picoult Signing

So my sister, her friend, my mom and I went to see the author Jodi Picoult. She wrote the book that became the movie My Sister’sKeeper. The ending of her Book vs. The movie was epic, by the way. 

The night  was awesome. She spoke a bit about her new book, Lone Wolf and had some audience volunteers practice howling with her on stage. Her confidence was captivating; I didn’t miss a minute of it.

At the end, we were allowed to ask question.

People asked the usual questions, how do you get your inspiration, what did you think of the ending to My Sister’s Keeper, how was it to work with your daughter on a book?

I got the last question: If you dream of becoming a published author, what do you do?

Jodi Picoult’s reply went along these lines: Polish your craft. Take up writing classes, as many and as often as you can. Read. A lot. Learn from others. Write all the time.

Her advice, while completely sensible, was all something I’d

 heard before and am actively doing. What’s the next step though? I realised I’d missed my chance. I got to ask Jodi Picoult a very important question and I phrased it wrong?! Typical.

Afterwards she signed books. Since I don’t have any of my own Jodi Picoult books (or many books at all for that matter, most books I read are lent to me) my sister let me get one of her books she took along signed. So we went, my sister, her friend and myself armed with books. We were right at the back of the queue and I had a very, very long time to practise the phrasing of my question over and over again.

The more I said it in my head, the more nervous I became. This wasn’t because I was about to speak to an Internal Bestseller, no, this was simply because people in general make me a little nervous. I’m just shy. I had nothing to worry about because she was lovely and kind and help.

Michelle (sister’s friend) had her book and photo’s signed first. Then I went. As she signed I explained that I had already done everything she suggested and is there anything more I could do?

She said this: Write your story, edit it as best as can be done, then find an agent. (At least she said in America it’s very hard to submit to a publishing house without an agent, we don’t have that here, we just have the “very hard to get in and no easier way in” system in my country) She told me she had over a 100 rejections before her first novel was accepted. She said if you have the heart for it, you will make it work.

Basically, don’t give up, even in the face of rejection.

I thanked her, took my sister’s book with Picoult’s signature in it, and stepped back to wait.

Lil then stepped up to the table and said “Please make this to Kelan and tell her to never give up”

My eyes popped. My sister just got a personal message made out just for me and then she gave me the book (I now own my very own Jodi Picoult book).

Then my sister surprised me again, she turned to Picoult and said “My sister is going to make it big.”

I blushed. Picoult laughed and said “Good!”

Picoult then turned to me and said this: Writing is a weeding game. It will thin the herd each time. If you are the only person standing at the end of it, they will want to know what makes this girl think she has something special?

And that I will never forget.

Children of the world

I go to sleep at night plague with thoughts that there are children in the world who are hungry, children who are abused, children without parents.

And I cry myself to sleep.

I have enough love in my heart for each of them, just not the means to help them.

One day I've decided that will change.

Shout Out

This one’s for helping. This one’s for the special ones.

First, this is Tam

Who does things like this and so much more for the people she cares about. Images are from her blog, it's fantastic, follow it!!    

Check out all the awesome things she does here Total TamNation

(picture is from Tam's blog too so pictures are hers, this is Lil)

Then this is Lil, for the research she does on the side into my books while constantly kicking me to push forward with writing

Here is Leanne K  

who created the covers of my books

  Crimson Skies 

     Complicated   

 Creature Takes

   About Writing 

She has a facebook page 

here:   Tattoos

Go like it :) 

This is Moshe who sends my links to his impressive contact list (most are phone contacts, not twitter) every single time I update something. And spreads word to people I don't know so that the first thing they ask when I meet them is "How's your writing going?"

And this is Poofy AKA Sir Kubby AKA KitKat (kitty of many names)

This is because he likes to sit under my chair when I write. And I like knowing he is there.

Thank you to you all

How to edit as best as you can

Once your first novel is finished, I want you to cry.

I didn’t and I wish I did.

Cry. Cry for all the hours of bleeding over something so precious to you that it kept you awake some nights, more nights than you can even remember right now. Cry for the ache in your fingers when inspiration hit and hours passed in the blink of an eye. Cry for all the times inspiration did not hit at all and your fingers itched to move and be of use once more. Cry for the characters you lost along the way and the ones you found. Cry for the pain they felt, the pain you felt for them. Cry for it is over now. Cry for the moments you thought you would never get here and then cry because you did it, you finally did it. And then cry some more.

Then print up your novel, pack it up and put it away.

Everything that it is and everything it cannot be, does not matter now. For as long as you can, ignore it. Write still, about anything; something you saw, something you heard, a short story told at some family gathering. Just keep your writing alive while you wait.

Wait. Wait as long as you can bare. A week or two. Three months. A year. Wait.

I like three months.

Besides keeping up with writing, the next best thing you can do, in this time you’ve hidden your novel, is edit someone’s work. 

Online I find many stories shared with me. Short ones I find best. Then dissect it and pulling it apart in your own writing room and find what works and what doesn’t work (I'm not saying tell the writer this, this is simply for yourself) Be tough with this work. Pull out unnecessary words and parts that tell rather than show. Make notes everywhere you can about everything you think and find as you read others work.

Editing someone’s short piece is so helpful. It shows you the mindset you need to look over your own work.

Now the time has passed, a week or two, three months, a year.

Dig up your novel and when you read it after all that time, you will read as a READER and not as the AUTHOR.

You will find things you never even imagined you would write incorrectly or dully. You will find the same mistakes as the authors in the short stories you edited. You will blush and laugh at yourself for never realising it was a mistake at all. You will be able to tear your book down to the essentials, neaten the edges, and make it SHINE.

BEFORE you do any of that, your very first step is to get a highlighter.

Any colour you like.

Then read your book from beginning to end and highlight the sentences you LOVE. The ones that feel flawless and unique. The sentences that make you swell with pride when you realise you wrote them.

Highlight these moments throughout your book.

Everything that isn't highlighted, needs editing.  

From the rest of your text 

• Pull out words that clutter your sentences
• Say your dialogue aloud and every word that sounds forced, cut it from your work. Leave in only the dialogue that pushes your story forward, not the ones that explain the story
• Make sure your action and fighting scenes are written in short sentences, hurrying the action along. Long sentences draw it out and make it seem slow
• Check that every character in a scene has a purpose to that part and then to the story as a whole
• Make sure your characters have flaws. No one is perfect. Your reader will love them even more
• Every time you tell the reader something, see that you honestly cannot show them instead
• Take out scenes of leaving and arriving places, unless it has importance, we don’t need to know how they got there, we just need to know that they are there now
• Take out predictable and clichéd series of events. If you have to write out 10 possible scenarios for each action, that's fine, the first few will be expected choices so scrap those, the ones lower down will surprise both yourself and the reader
• Keep your writing simple, your plot and characters involved

There is so much you can edit, but I think I will leave it there. 

I’m eager to hear what you would add to this list and if you find this upload helpful? Love to hear from you!

KEL